sat, 29.3.25

first post?

i've already posted once before this, but decided to restart. i think i'm still figuring out what type of information i want to include in this section of the journal. and i can't promise that i won't edit even this post, or restart again oops.. my first post was more rambly and i guess raw, but i hope to be more intentional with the thoughts i write down here! i hope to look back in this journal and find things that will help my future self when i read back on it. i'll still keep the writing loose though, but just make the content more intentional than ramblings.

today was a really long day, and sometimes i get caught up in mentally reviewing and revising everything that happened. reflecting on what i did, and asking myself if i did the right thing, or did not do the best, etc. thankfully i was able to stop myself from dwelling in those thoughts and just decided to worship God despite any disappointment in myself. it's hard to snap out of the mindset but remembering that it's alright to make mistakes, or let people down, because i just need to care what God thinks helps me tremendously. because God doesn't condemn me but he forgives and gives me strength to change for the better when i come to Him, and His love for me is unchanging and uncondiional.

yesterday, i remember thinking that resting in God's love is the epitome of 'home' to me. i sometimes tend to hide/run away (not literally) when i'm scared, anxious and fearful. and i remembered thinking along the lines of, "i can be anywhere in the world, doing anything, and God's love will still be surrounding me. so if i didn't mind doing anything as long as i'm in God's love, can't i be at 'home' in the very thing i'm doing right now? (which was what i was fearful about)". it sounds quite roundabout, but yes that is how i got to this conclusion. it's something that i'm still thinking about: really getting to know and understand how to be conscious and so aware of God's love that surrounds me. if i can learn to know His love so closely like that in everything i do, in every moment, i think i can do all things with supernatural joy and strength.

songs that touched me today

philippians 4:8-9

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."

end: 30th mar, 05:21